Just when you think all the stories are healed and gone, here comes out of nowhere a familiar pattern. This is the biggest time out I have ever taken, since this pandemic started… I have always worked. Even pregnant, I worked until each baby was born and with my youngest, I only took 6 days off and that was a C-section. Of course, I was careful and worked from my bed. But back then, no one could do my job and I had a lot of responsibilities on my shoulders. Fast forward to right here, right now. I have spent four months keeping myself busy. Putting in gardens, working my land, homeschooling, harvesting, and doing lots of research, preparing for re-opening the interviews for Corporate Hippie Connection.
When you are spending so much time with yourself you really get to know more and more of what you want and what you don’t want any longer in your life. True characters of people start to surface. This has been a huge eye opener for me. During this time with so much physical labor, I have been super emotional. There were days I would just cry. I thought to myself “Girl…. here is your chance to really exfoliate your soul! Take all the time you want because time is on your side. Go ahead, kick up your feet and I will pour you some tea and the box of Kleenex is to your left on the floor.”
I remember this one day putting up fencing and just balling my eyes out. I remember, I was upset from another teammate and boy oh boy did that bubble up to surface sadness and disappointment. I allowed myself to dance with each emotion and get down to the nitty gritty of what was truly bothering me. You see, I am very sentimental and building that fence brought up memories I had with my own father. He taught me so many skills throughout growing up. I guess I was sad because I wanted him to witness all that I have achieved. Especially here on this farm that I work so hard on. On another day about two months after that, I had someone else disappoint me and there was that familiar pattern again. Oh, I saw this so clearly and I knew that day, I had finally learned the lesson and was ready to speak up and be heard. I said goodbye to that story and all the patterns that went along with it. I know these lessons are to build me up and make me stronger for life’s curve balls thrown my way. I am thankful for the lessons.
That is why I always say that they are good days and great days. The good days are those days that might be a little challenging, but those are the days I learn the life lessons to take me further equipped into my journey. The great days are just that. Skipping through and smelling those high frequency roses along the way. I have had a lot of good days during this time and I completely embrace these days and really reflect, listen and learn. I look for the signs and enjoy the process. I know life is preparing me to be better and I will always welcome that. I want to be the best version of myself.
Gravitate to always finding the better feeling thought and work through each emotion in order to get there. Allow yourself the healing time it deserves. If you are feeling low, go outside kick off your shoes and go walk Mother Gia. Ask the deep questions. Always give yourself love. Take more baths and tell yourself how much you love her. Every day, I say I love you 108 times and after I’m done, I send all that love out to the world. I hope you feel it.
In a comfortable state of gratitude,
Kerry Romano Zall