Keesha Bowers Dear friends, the holiday season is now upon us and it is with excitement we come into the time of preparations.
I love the holidays! And did I say excitement? Yes, I feel like a kid again when it comes to the holidays. That feeling of being so free and relaxed. Cozy time in with family. Pajamas all day. Cups of hot cocoa stirred with a candy cane. Holiday crafts and decorations. Baking cookies and pies. Playing all day in the snow. A warm fire going while watching a movie.
I feel like over the years as a parent set on making it special for my kids, I have lost some of the magic I had as a kid around the season. The level of responsibility to make it perfect has taken away some of the joy. What I have felt the past few years is actually a strange mix of anticipation, some stress, loads of plans and ideas, anxiety, lack of sleep trying to make it just right, and a pretty long list of things to do. At least that is what it feels like I have put myself through in the past.
But this year feels different.
I’m not entirely sure why I have put myself through that in the past, but this year, during these strange, covid times, I think I am finally understanding what the holiday season is all about.
It is about the fellowship of the season. And although we may not be able to gather with our group of like-minded people, our family, and friends, these holidays are now about enjoying the small moments and ways we can still connect and cherish what we have.
Companionship and camaraderie are precious during this time. And I really respect all the spiritual ways people honor the holidays, but I’m choosing to focus on the ways we are similar in our basic needs through the shorter days and longer nights of the year. We have been through a time of division in our country and you know what we all have in common is the need to feel loved. I’m choosing to focus on this.
I find myself making friends with the people I come into contact with regularly and getting to know them better.
I have gotten to know the woman at my local grocery and I will wait longer in her line, just to get to see her at the checkout and check-in with her. She said it had just been her birthday and that she had been in the hospital. While she was in the hospital, she witnessed her hospital neighbor pass away and helped the grieving family answer questions as to what had happened.
She was ringing up my purchases and we were talking about her birthday and that it wasn’t quite the celebration she had hoped for. I then started to look at some scarves for sale at the checkout and she pointed out her favorite. I left the store and realized I missed something and went back to buy that scarf for her! She was so touched and called me an angel for thinking of her. I’m checking in with her online now as I hear that she has been in the hospital again.
I challenge you to find a way to create fellowship this holiday
By calling, texting, emailing, or sending an old-fashioned handwritten letter to at least three people in your life and telling them why you are grateful for them and/or a fond memory or experience you shared with them. Share this experience that you had with this person so that they too can feel the memory in their heart. It is here that we find the fellowship.
Sit in your home or space where you will be having your holiday meal and feel into your heart the things you remember as a child that made you feel the most loved about that holiday. Was it pumpkin pie, a hike to a special place, the smell of a certain candle? Was it that certain holiday song, a hot bath, the smell of hot cider or mulled wine? Whatever the particular experience was that filled your heart with love and joy, focus on those things, and share them with whomever you spend your holiday with.
A friend recently gifted my daughter with an experience for her birthday. She purchased all the ingredients to bake a cake together and taught my daughter all the specifics of how to make a carrot cake with cream cheese frosting and I am sure as far as birthday presents go, that experience will stay in her heart as the the time someone dedicated to her and gave her their loving attention. Give that to others this holiday season. Let whomever you spend it with know how much you love them by sharing an experience. A lasting, loving and caring gift from the heart kind of experience. May our cup flow over with gratitude and may the people around you feel the abundance of joy and love that you generate! I believe that the holiday time is a great time to dedicate to gratitude. Use it wisely! By taking the time to send a message to three people, you could really make their holiday special.
Because we know that experiences last in our memory for our entire lives, where a purchased gift will come and go, connecting with these three people and generating this sense of fellowship could be the best gift they will ever receive.
Lastly, I challenge us all to check in with our connection to our devices and see if we can just dedicate one day to being present with the people right there with you. Post your shares the following day, as I promise you will look back on the holiday you spent without your phone as a day you had a feeling that flooded your heart with joy!
I am so grateful for anyone who took the time to read this and I pray that you have a heart filled holiday with whomever is in your tight circle these days. I pray that we can all be connected fully again. We are all missing our loved ones and holding each other tight. May we also forgive those that we have had challenges with as the biggest gift in doing that is for ourselves and our own heart healing. May we feel loved and nourished in all the ways. Happy holidays!
Ho’oponopono
I love you
I’m sorry
Please forgive me
