Stephanie Y Jolivet 
one of the first things i remember Ludo, mon mari, saying to me, before we even really knew each other, definitely before we were married, is that “we would have strange-looking children.”
…and he had me at strange.
well, perhaps not. but pretty close to it, as just three months after that late summer dinner at our mutual friend’s place in Washington, D.C. we were married on a memorably rainy Halloween evening in Arlington, Virginia.
the really strange thing is that i’ve always known le petit mec, the little guy, Justin-Thilou who came into our lives almost exactly two weeks early. i’ve known his face. his little sticky-outty hair at the back of his head, his almond eyes, almost sapphire blue, and his strong little body.
in fact, as much as Ludo wanted a girl, i knew we were having a boy – or a little human with anatomical characteristics resembling a boy – well before said anatomy was confirmed on screen. i saw him/them before we conceived, walking hand-in-hand avec papa on thick green grass in a house i didn’t recognize but knew we would soon inhabit. i saw him/them come to me in my dreams the few weeks prior to his/their coming earth-side. one time he/they came to me as a little body-builder.
it’s also strange to think when i recorded this manifestation meditation as the next iteration of Sayezz with Stephanie in collaboration with Corporate Hippie Connection, i was still full of Justin-Thilou. my belly was big and round and wriggly with his long body stretching inside of me, floating in the amniotic fluid that at 5 am on Thursday, September 16th began leaking from between my legs and continued to leak for another 12 hours as i gently pre-labored at home before we calmly drove to the maternity, and labored – more animal-like this time – for another 14 hours until it was told to us that there was an infection and we needed to get antibiotics and rest.
which we did.
by 17:07 (5:07 pm) on Friday (#friyay) September 17th, Justin-Thilou Pierre Ronald Jolivet came earth-side, momentarily blue and tiny amongst a flurry of people.
in what seemed the next instant, we were alone, tous les trois, the three of us, and he was beside me as i have always known him.
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i’m a mover, so of course part of my preparation for birthing Justin-Thilou was integrating new ways of moving with my growing belly. i was blessed with a mostly comfortable and fulfilling grossesse, pregnancy. not without its challenges –
my blood type is O-, which only about 7% of the population have, and which presents a challenge to the fetus; namely, my antibodies want to develop and kill any + antibodies. so i had to have a shot and monitor my blood to make sure all was ok. it was.
le bébé was en siege or breech for most of the latter part of our pregnancy, and while the wonderfully supportive sage femmes (midwives) assured me that there is nothing “wrong” or “bad” with this, that it simply a rare position, they suggested and we accepted a version to turn the baby. it was successful and baby stayed head down.
and then my water “breaking” well before labor started is also rare, happening in only about 15-20% of pregnancies.
what helped support and even more so led me through all of these decisions and emotions and shifts and changes beyond the physical aspects of my bodily sensations was my practice of meditation and focused affirmations.
and listen, only 2 of our 12 or so “birth goals” were met through the 36 hour endurance journey of travail, of labor. but that does not mean that the manifestation practice i did was for nought.
in fact, i manifested the version which helped sustain a vaginal brith. and the last manifestation i practiced was twofold – that Ludo be a present and supportive partner, and that we meet with kind, gentle sage femmes on the bébé’s birthing day – both of which proved more than true.
for us it did take a team to help transition Justin-Thilou earth-side. i’m grateful for that. and i’m grateful to share this practice with you today.
i’ve omitted the self-practice in written form today because the audio serves to guide you through your own manifestation journey. so find a comfortable seat, grab a few slips of paper, a pen or pencil, a candle, some matches, and a tin can to safely hold the embers. focus on what you want to bring into your life, and trust that you have the power to manifest everything you want. it may not look exactly how you envisioned it, but that is just Source’s way of being in collaboration with – not in control of – you.
believe in your power to manifest your dreams, friends. you are a co-creator of your own unique reality. own it. believe in it. trust in it. you got this.
